Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What’s your return policy if I don’t find your Hash Boy hashing comic issues funny?
You cannot Return any of our products –no questions answered– within 3 beers of reading. Once read they cannot be unread. We don’t even pay return shipping. Try discussing your situation with your local Hash Cash. Go ahead, we’ll wait here.
What breed of dog is Foamy?
Hash House Terrier.
Can you include my older sister, uncle, podiatrist, Administrative Assistant, Hare-Raiser, plumber, parole-officer, poodle-walker, doula, tailor, farrier, ombudsman, milkman, bowling pin-setter, baby-sitter, webmaster, chimney sweep or my favorite bartender in your next comic issue of Hash Boy?
Sorry, it’s my world. I just let you hash in it. Bowling pin-setter?
What is a lumberjack’s favorite type of beer?
Lager.
Why don’t more likenesses of “real” local Hashers appear in the Hash Boy comic strips?
On occasion, the creators will see fit to include the likeness of a particularly eccentric or infamous Hasher as part of the Hash Boy Comics story-line. In general though, Hashers are uncouth and slovenly in their appearance and their caricatured likenesses often upset young children and the elderly.
What is that stuff always dripping out of Foamy’s mouth?
I’m not quite sure, but I wouldn’t touch it.
Does Hash Boy really read all of those books we see on the bookshelf in the comic strips or are they merely props?
No. He generally limits his literature to beer labels and the dirty pictures in an occasional Hash rag.
What were some of the runner-up names in Hash Boy’s naming committee?
Barrel O’Connor, Mr. Head, Keg McFoamin’, Bud Grant, Open-Festering Cylinder-fella and Ale Ron Hibbert.
Who draws all of the Hash Boy comics?
The Hash Boy Comics panels are initially sketched in the dark during a full-moon using soggy, leftover haring chalk and are then each redrawn by hand and inked by a group of orphaned, left-handed art students attending an Artist Academy in an old brewery located high in an undisclosed mountainous region of Eastern Europe or Asia. The art students are told they are free to leave the brewery at any time.
My Teacher is making me do a book report on Hash Boy and my mom said to ask you what Hash Boy’s “nerd name” is so I can research him in the school library. What’s Hash Boy’s “nerd name”?
As a new boot Hash Boy had reportedly used many different nerd names. At his first hash he introduced himself to the pack as Romulus Winterbottom, but signed in with the Hash Cash on the sacred hash document as Cornelius Funkenwaller, Jr. That same week he was observed signing in again as a new boot at a nearby hash as Gadsden Pettigrew. He registered on an Interhash rego with the name Viola Lynn Stradivarius. He bought his first Hash tee-shirt with a check signed Ezekiel Thruster. (The check later bounced.)
The Long Beach California LBH3 Hash Historian Alouette claims to have an actual LBH3 hash sign-in sheet (and spindled computer key-punch card) from early 1994 documenting new boot Hash Boy was wearing a blonde wig, really tight Dolfin running shorts and brand new shoes when he signed in at a lingerie hash as Sven-Olaf von Karlsbergmagnussonon. Good luck on your book report, kid.
Does Hash Boy perform his own stunts in the Hash Boy Comics?
Hash Boy did perform all of the hashing stunts himself that appear in all Hash Boy Comics issues through issue #59 “A Shortcut Above”. Unfortunately he was seriously injured during the creation of Hash Boy Comics issue #59 when a street paver’s steamroller accidentally ran over his head. He claims there was no lasting damage done as according to Hash Boy “the steamroller only ran over my other half-mind.” In an abundance of caution, the creators are using unsuspecting new-boots as stunt-doubles for all Hash Boy Comics stunts beginning with Hash Boy Comics issue #60.
What the heck happened to Ballzinajar’s head?
Yeah, that’s something we don’t like to discuss too much. None of his hash hats fit him anymore. You can find all the painful story details here.
“Kenneth, what is the frequency?”
Sorry, but this is the Frequently Asked Questions page and you are looking for the Frequency Asked Questions page. They are three websites down the internet on the right side.
Has Hash Boy ever been in Prison?
Yes. In 2009 Hash Boy was convicted of “tampering with a hash trail in progress” and sent to prison.
Did Hash Boy play any competitive sports when he was in school, and if so, which ones?
No. Although in his Freshman year, he tried out and failed at Water Polo. He experienced sinking and embarrassing rusting on his torso.
