The International Weather Service announced today it will begin using Hash House Harrier’s Hash Names to name Hurricanes, Cyclones and Tropical Storms starting with the 2022 Hurricane season.
Chief Meteorologist Marion Watanabe outlined the upcoming changes and assured the public that this change will greatly improve the International Weather Service’s ability to protect the general public from the potentially life-threatening impacts of Mother Nature. As part of the initiative, the International Weather Service has signed a deal with a consortium of 37 global Hash House Harrier Kennels to acquire the usage rights to the complete hash name rosters of each hash kennel.
Meteorologist Watanabe explained that this change will help to mitigate the past safety problems caused by the public failing to heed the historical Severe Weather Alert storm warnings that were issued using standard civilian names such as Hurricane Murray or Tropical Storm Edna. “People were just completely ignoring us when we warned them that Hurricane Melvin was forecast to hit the mainland as a Category 5 storm.” Watanabe continued, “Moving forward we will be issuing severe weather alerts such as Hurricane Bloody Festering Piss Monster is scheduled to make landfall in 6 hours or Tropical Storm Hot Iron Sphincter Splitter is forming in the Gulf.”
Meteorologist Watanabe concluded, “We are confident that moving forward we will have the public’s complete attention and full compliance.”
The International Weather Service released the following list of Hurricane and Tropical Storm Names slated for the upcoming 2022 storm season.
2022 – Official Hurricane Names Registry
Alice Doesn’t Hash Here Anymore
Burnt Bag Lady of Barcelona
Bloody Belching Beaver
Carl the Subhuman Hissing Bartender
Everybody Fucks Raymond
Fourteen Farts per Hour
Gorillas in the Miss
Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Drunk
Hey McCLoud Get Off of My Ewe
I Hash Therefore I Am
Johnny the Monkey
Kittens in a Blender
Nice ‘n Sleezy
No Body Does It Wetter
Nut N Honey
Open Festering Pastry Chef
One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato is Three or Six Potatoes?
Patrick Fits Michael
Queen of Farts
Running for Orifice
Rusty the Anemic Weinerdog
Sheep Thrill’s Run bag
To Pee or Not to Pee
This is a Bust
Thomas Alva Zyklorwyzewicz
Uncle Charlie’s Electric Truss is Missing*
SWAMP (So Who Ate My Pickle?)
Wizard of Bras
Yellow Pus Blister Buster
Zipper the Semi Potty-Trained Dancing Weasel
2022 – Official Tropical Storm Names Registry
Clam Before the Strom
Drunk With Powertools
Slippery When Wench
*To be transitioned to be a Band Name in 2023
2 thoughts on “International Weather Service to Use Hash Names to Name Hurricanes and Cyclones”
I am stealing “Carl the Subhuman Hissing Bartender.” Oh, and also “Zipper the Semi-Potty-Trained Dancing Weasel.” Sold names, Hash Boy.
Great article. I saw this story on the Wet her Channel.