If I Only Had Half a Brain

(Sung to the Wizard of Oz tune “If I Only Had a Brain” by Judy Garland and Ray Bolger)

I could while away each hour
Chasin’ after flour,
And singin’ in the rain;
“Who said head?” I’d be a thinkin’
While my livers busy drinkin’
‘Cause I’ve only half a brain.

When I hare I never stumble
I am the best at being humble,
In shiggy or in drains;
With half thoughts that you’ll be thinkin’
You’d rather be On In drinkin’
‘Cause you’ve only half a brain.

Oh, I, could tell you what
The On-In circle is for
I could sing Hash songs I’d never
Sung before,
And then I’d down down and drink some more.

I’m not just some hash cutie,
My head half full of doodie,
Tee shirts all full of stains;
And perhaps I’d deserve you and be
Even hash worthy to you
‘Cause I’ve only half a brain.

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