As a public service to the non-hashing community, listed below is a step-by-step overview and expected timeline for the process used to award a Hash Name to eligible new hash name candidates (“new boots”).
This is the official Hash Naming process and standard timeline that is followed by virtually every Hash House Harrier kennel worldwide.
The Hash House Harrier Hash Naming Process
FIRST HASH – “Welcome to the hash New Boot!”
At their first hash circle, the hash name candidate is welcomed to the hash with a traditional “new boot down-down”. The down-down is provided to the hash name candidate using nitrile-gloved hands in a sterile plastic party cup. Upon finishing the down-down, the cup is immediately retrieved from the hash name candidate’s hand and placed in a sterile shipping container. The cup along with any residual backwash contents are sealed and shipped via overnight express shipping to a testing lab for a genetic DNA analysis. The hash name candidate’s fingerprints are lifted by lab technicians from the specially-designed cup and forwarded to the hash kennel for further follow-up.
SECOND HASH – “Candidate Survey Questionnaire”
The New Boot is provided an 8 page questionnaire that must be completed using the sterile, shrink-wrapped pen prior to the start of the circle. Questionnaire inquiries typically ask the candidate to identify their favorite Beetle and/or barnyard animal. All survey response content provided by the hash name candidate is immediately discarded as a second DNA sample is extracted from the pen used by the candidate to complete the questionnaire form. The pen is shipped via 3-day express saver shipping to a regional testing lab for additional genetic DNA testing analysis.
THIRD HASH – “Checking”
Using information obtained from the prior DNA and fingerprint analyses, Hash background investigators are dispatched to the hash name candidate’s home town. Upon arrival, they immediately contact any of the candidate’s surviving parents or siblings to conduct field interview background checks. The background investigators will focus on obtaining high-school yearbook (or prom) photos of the candidate. Field interviews are conducted with the candidate’s barber or hair stylist.
FOURTH HASH – “Whistle Check!”
To commemorate their attendance at a fourth hash, the new boot is ceremoniously provided with a sterile, shrink-wrapped, stainless-steel whistle. The loaned whistle is immediately retrieved from the candidate at the conclusion of the hash circle. The used whistle is sealed and shipped off via Ground Shipping for final genetic DNA testing analysis.
FIFTH HASH – “Hash Name Awarded”
Assuming all of the genetic testing and field interview results are uneventful, the hash name candidate is eligible to receive a hash name.
Adhering to the solemn Hash House Harrier ceremonial tradition, the hash kennel’s bleary-eyed, stuporous RA will light the incense candles. The hash name candidate is called to step forward and genuflect before a hash-hushed circle. Glancing quickly down at a soggy, beer-soaked smeared clipboard sheet, the RA annoints the hash name candidate with the Hash Name corresponding to a different hash name candidate written on the line below yours.
Huzzah! Congratulations and ON ON – You are now a hasher!
1 thought on “Hash House Harrier Hash Naming Process”
Except ours. We’ve given away too many good hash names to new hashers (even after 5 hashes) who never came back. Now we require all hashers to hare a trail before they’re eligible for a naming.