The Hasher
(Sung to the tune “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers)
On a warm Friday evening
Near a trail layed by some hares
I ran into The Hasher
We were both too tired to think
So we took turns a-drinkin’
From my keg there in the shiggy
Then hashdumb overtook us
And he began to sing
He sang, “Son, I’ve made a life
Out of readin’ Hash Boy’s Comics
Knowin’ what the jokes were
By the way Nut stroked his pen
So if you don’t mind my singin’
I can see you’re not a Hasher
For a taste of your cold beer
I’ll give you some advice
So I handed him my vessel
And he down downed like a Bissell
Then he trolled a harriette
And said my beer was light
And the trail got deathly quiet
And his voice sang here’s a lesson
Said, “If you’re gonna hash our way, boy
You gotta learn to hash it right
You’ve got to know when to hare ’em
Know when to snare ’em
Know when to walk a trail
And know when to run
You never count on beer checks
Till you’re sittin’ at the On-In
There’ll be time enough for drinkin’
When the layins’ done.”
Every hasher knows
That the way to reach the On-In
Is knowin’ when to yell On On
And whistlin’ tweet tweet
‘Cause every trail’s a winner
And every hare’s a hero
And the best that you can hope for
Is a long “A-to-B”
And when he’d finished singin’
He turned back toward the hash trail
Yelled at some cute harriette
Then he ran after her
And somewhere in the darkness
The Hasher he called “On In!”
And in his hashing words
I found a life that I would keep
You’ve got to know when to hare ’em
Know when to snare ’em
Know when to walk a trail
And know when to run
You never count on beer checks
Till you’re sittin’ at the On-In
There’ll be time enough for drinkin’
When the layins’ done
You’ve got to know when to hare ’em (when to hare ’em)
Know when to snare ’em (when to snare ’em)
Know when to walk a trail
And know when to run
You never count on beer checks
Till you’re sittin at the On-In
There’ll be time enough for drinkin’
When the layins’ done
You’ve got to know when to hare ’em
Know when to snare ’em
Know when to walk a trail
And know when to run
You never count on beer checks
Till you’re sittin’ at the On-In
There’ll be time enough for drinkin’
When the layins’ done
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