The On On Man
(Sung by the Hash House Quartet to the tune “Piano Man” by Billy Joel)
It’s ten o’clock on a Saturday
The regular pack pays their fin.
There’s a B-van parking next to me
Filled with kegs and a map to on-in.
I say, “Hare, can you lay me a memory
I’m not really sure where trail goes.
Not too long cause I’m beat and not lots of street
The cement pounds my arthritic toes.”
On on on di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Lay us a trail you’re the haring man
Give us some marks to steer
Well we’re not in the mood for an A-to-Z
And thanks for those checks full of beer.
Now Flash the GM is a friend of mine
He gives us down-downs for free
And he’d love to be hare but his hair ain’t all there
And a DJ’s what he’d rather be.
Hare lies, “Pack, I believe you’re not snaring me.”
“Four miles hashing at an easy pace.”
“It’s all flat as her chest so you may run abreast
or get busted and fall on your face.”
On on on di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Now Nut is a beer ingest flatulist
His farting sure smells pretty ripe
And he’s talkin’ with Pinky, who’s drinkin’ a drinkie
And playing with his Scottish pipe.
And the RA is singing of donkey dicks
As the brewmeisters get us all stoned
Yes, I’m starting to think that the OC Hash
Is getting all Bozo-da-cloned.
Lay us a trail you’re the haring man
Give us some marks to steer
Well we’re not in the mood for an A-to-Z
And thanks for those checks full of beer.
It’s a pretty good pack for a Saturday
And the hashcash sits counting the wad.
But she’s short a nickel so sucks on a pickle
And dreams of some young hasher’s bod.
And the circle’s song sounds like some animal
And my jockey shorts smell like a steer
And they get in my car and bitch trail was too far
And say, “Man, we could sure use a beer.”
On on on di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Lay us a trail you’re the haring man
Give us some marks to steer
Well we’re not in the mood for an A-to-Z
And thanks for those checks full of beer.
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