Lost Hasher Found Alive – Credits Hash Swag Collection for Survival

Hash Boy Hash Mall
Hash Boy pictured thanking his rescuers

The three local hares who hared that hash last week have finally located Hash Boy almost a week after he went tragically missing during a shortcut gone horribly wrong. The infamous SCB Hash Boy was found lying on his back in a drainage ditch alongside a busy freeway, with his spindly arms akimbo and his stained and dented torso lodged against an abutment.  Unfortunately, passing motorists were unable to see him as he had been completely obscured by a huge patch of poison oak.

"Stay on trail" signAfter chugging down a cold beer provided by his rescuers, a dehydrated Hash Boy explained that he had been shortcutting solo during the hash when he collapsed due to the massive weight and bulkiness of all the hashing accessories, trinkets and haberdashery that was contained on his person.

Shocked rescuers inventoried the following items that Hash Boy was wearing/carrying when found.

  • 7 Hash Mugs
  • 1 Pewter FRB Mug
  • 8 Whistles, 19 lanyards
  • 11 Hash name tags (6 engraved Hash Boy)
  • 5 churchkeys
  • 1 Hernia Truss
  • 15 lbs crushed ice
  • 3 Hashits
  • 6 Happi Coats
  • 3 Hash caps
  • 1 taco, 1 burrito, 1 speedo
  • 2 floppy hats
  • 1 unopened box Strawberry Jello
  • 6 Hash necklaces
  • April 2007 Good Housekeeping magazine (2 copies)
  • 3 Hash Vests with total 241 hash patches
  • 5 flashlites (no batteries)
  • 7 pair hash knee socks
  • 1 garter (not snake)
  • 1 authorized copy Windows 95
  • 5 pair new unopened hash Gaiters
  • 2 boxes brand new hash shoes
  • 1 (unused) Interhash 2001 condom

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